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Showing posts from January, 2023

Dear Tsuki

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Dear Tsuki, I used to be afraid of attachments, Yet, here I am, clinging to a delicate tether that binds me to you. Dear Tsuki, I used to dream of being independent, Yet, here I am, finding solace leaning on you for my daily dose of happiness. Dear Tsuki, I used to fight to be free, Yet, here I am, surrendering and cherishing every moment as if it were a sacred offering. Dear Tsuki, I used to wish to be strong, Yet, here I am, weaving my joys into the tapestry of your moonlight, Strength found not in solitude but in the shared glow of our moments. LWINT
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Reversed Reality

In the past, my usual nightmares were about losing her. Reality itself was the solace after, by telling myself that nightmare doesn't matter. Yesterday night, I dreamt about her. She was with me together, vividly without a blur. She said yes even before I could kneel down, her smile shone brighter than a star in the white gown. Reality itself became a nightmare, memories of losing her drove me into the endless despair. Hoping is the thing I now do best, that the time would stich all my wounds back. LWINT
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And thus, we grew apart 1

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"Remember fantasizing about the good old romance novels we used to read as adolescents? Happy endings, like 'He kneeled down under the horizon and she said "Yes." They married and lived happily ever after.' It was never that hard for us to get married happily. The thing that always made us hesitant in saying 'Yes' or kneeling down was the doubt of 'what comes after it (the marriage)?' There was a boy and a girl who came from different backgrounds with different ambitions. The boy wanted to run free like a dog through the spacious fields, while the girl always dreamed of a settled and fulfilling life of a successful marriage. Compromise? Of course, they did. The boy decided to pursue how to develop a business, and the girl let him run loose sometimes to give him freedom. But, yes... that 'but,' which always leads to all the unwanted things after it. The boy left her and their hometown to chase the compromised dream. He worked as a regular s
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Tsuki No Me

Tsuki No Me In the soft glow of a winter's eve, Where friendship's whispers gently weave. Beneath the stars, a tale untold, A connection deep, a story to unfold. In the dance of snowflakes, secrets hide, A warmth, a longing, hearts confide. Yet in this season, let friendship gleam, A silent wish, a shared dream. Paths may twist in unforeseen ways, In the gentle haze of these holiday days. Though unspoken words may softly sway, Let friendship bloom, come what may. So here we stand, beneath the mistletoe, In the quiet of emotions that softly grow. A tale of two hearts, entwined but free, Merry Christmas, dear Tsuki, to you from me. LWINT (for those who are not familiar with the term "Tsuki No Me" - it's from an anime series called Naruto. Since that one is the dream I would not want to wake up, I shall name that one "Tsuki No Me".)
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Dear Tsuki

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Dear Tsuki, I used to be afraid of attachments, Yet, here I am, clinging to a delicate tether that binds me to you. Dear Tsuki, I used to dream of being independent, Yet, here I am, finding solace leaning on you for my daily dose of happiness. Dear Tsuki, I used to fight to be free, Yet, here I am, surrendering and cherishing every moment as if it were a sacred offering. Dear Tsuki, I used to wish to be strong, Yet, here I am, weaving my joys into the tapestry of your moonlight, Strength found not in solitude but in the shared glow of our moments. LWINT
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Hell is not a place, it is us

Despite not being a serious believer, I genuinely believe that it is our guilt that drags us down, not our sins. It would seem easy not to dwell on something and just let it go. But the hard part is that guilt is recognized by our subconscious mind, where our consciousness seldom notices its existence until we hit rock bottom in our darkest pits. "Ahh, I should have, I could have, I would have" kinds of thoughts will finally reveal themselves to give us a hot welcome in there. When I left my hometown five years ago, I told everyone, including myself, that I was chasing a dream I longed for - an advanced career leading to a stable life that could satisfy my family and my girlfriend. I believed that all my actions and choices were based on fulfilling my ambitions. Yet, I failed to realize that I was just a wanderer who was traipsing aimlessly in a lost land. I deluded myself with lame subterfuges like "I could become stable when I get there, when I get these degrees, when
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